Things Fall Apart
by EwanMcGregorIsMyHomeboy12
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi has been through more than most Jedi. Anakin has watched him survive trials that many men would fail to surpass, and come out a stronger man because of it. But now, when so much has changed, when everything seems broken, how can a Jedi keep from falling apart? Set Post Lawless.


**(A/N) So with all the Obitine I've been writing, I felt it was neccesarry to address what happened in the Lawless. It was never really explored in the show, and there was quite a time jump between it and the next set of episodes, so I felt the need to write. Sorry for any painful feels, not going to lie this was sad to write. Please R and R, let me know I didn't almost make myself cry or no reason.**

Anakin wasn't sure why he had known where to find Obi-Wan. He had resisted calling on their force bond, not wanting to disturb him. They had not spoken since his return from Mandalore when Obi-Wan had briefly apologized for the damage to his ship, and had given him an envelope of credits to pay for it. He had not mentioned the Duchess, nor Darth Maul, nor Death Watch. He had vanished into the temple.

Padme had been the one to tell him of Satine's death, but she did not know the details behind it. The planet had been taken over by Deathwatch, but Pre Viszla was dead. Maul had the planet in his grip, but now he too had vanished and what had been a neutral, peaceful star system had vanished and been replaced by a veritable hell. To Anakin, though, he knew what this would mean to Obi-Wan.

He had realized his master's feelings for Satine long ago, when he had first seen them together. But more than that, more than what could have been his master's slip-up as a Jedi Master for allowing himself to become attached to her, he knew Obi-Wan would see this as a failure.

When he had first become Obi-Wan's apprentice, even at nine, he had noticed the man trying to grapple with almost immeasurable things. His own Master had been murdered by a Sith, and Obi-Wan had been forced to take a life. And then, he had, after not even becoming a full knight, agreed to be Master of the supposed Chosen One. Anakin twinged when he recalled those days, before he and Obi-Wan were close.

He realized now that he had been almost cruel to him, expecting the same calm dissonance he had gotten from Qui-Gon, who was over 40 years Obi-Wan's senior. He had not listened, nor cared to try and see the perspective of his new master, who had taken it in stride and taught him anyway. He was sorry for those days, days he hoped were past, but were dredged through his memory frequently. After his mother's death, Obi-Wan had been his only remaining parental figure, but he had let his resentment and anger boil over too many times for Obi-Wan to have forgiven him. He had done so anyway. He was an exceptional man, strong and unfailingly kind, but always, since Qui-Gon's death on Naboo, had considered himself somewhat of a failure.

Anakin knew this, for a large part of it, he blamed himself, his childish outbursts at his master in fits of rage over criticism or suggestion. He had not realized that Obi-Wan had needed help all those years ago, but instead, had shouldered responsibility. For years, Anakin had leaned on him for support, and Obi-Wan had been an unfailing pillar of it; now, finally, he could try and return that.

His feet carried him to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, where Obi-Wan often frequented. It was almost empty, not uncommon for the middle of the day, but there, in a small patch of grass and Earth, he saw his master's form sitting silently on the grass, his bare feet pressed together, hands resting on his legs. But he did not look relaxed as Obi-Wan usually did when meditating. He looked almost tense, like he was trying too hard to dissolve his emotions. Though half of his face was hidden by his beard, Anakin could make out the tense lines that pulled at his skin.

"Obi-Wan…" He didn't want to interrupt him, but he honestly didn't think his master was getting very far. He took off his boots as well and sat to face him, imitating his pose. Anakin had never considered himself to be particularly good at meditating, but it was something his master saw great value in, and something he hoped Ashoka would get more out of than himself. "Do you mind?"

Obi-Wan's eyes opened slowly, blinking, the wind from the waterfall fountains blowing his hair gently off of his face. His usual mask of emotion was in place, but the gentle touch of humor that usually graced his features was gone. Or at least missing at the moment. "Not at all." He gave Anakin a smile, though it seemed strained, and clearly thought his former apprentice wanted to meditate as well. HE shifted his weight, moving back into his relaxed pose before Anakin stopped him.

"I actually wanted to speak with you." One thing Anakin hated about meditating was sitting still for so long, even now, his fingers twisted through the thick blades of grass, moving them over, around, and through his fingers as he looked into his friends face. "If that's alright."

Obi-Wan didn't say anything, but cocked his head to the side, indicating his consent. "It's about Mandalore." If Anakin hadn't known him so well, if he hadn't spent years across form him on missions, saved his life on Rattatak, watched him stay level-headed and calm when tending to dying soldiers, then he wouldn't have noticed the subtle change in his face. It was a look of pain, of fleeting loss, and sorrow. To Anakin, in a man that was so kind and who had sacrificed so much for others, it was supremely unfair.

"I, well, I just…" He wasn't quite sure how to articulate what he meant. He didn't want it to come out as an accusation of Obi-Wan breaking the code, of his feelings, but he wanted to do the problem justice. "I want to help you."

"I appreciate it, Anakin. But I don't think that's necessary." Obi-Wan smiled at him again, trying to reassure him as he had done for Anakin all his life as a Jedi. As a young Padawan, when he had tried to concentrate on the force and had dropped things instead, as a Padawan when they had been lightsaber fighting and he had gotten caught by the sharp end of a training saber, on missions together when they couldn't save everyone and Anakin had felt so lost. It was an easy smile, and he was tempted to believe him, but the pain had not faded from his face.

"I think it is, Master." Anakin said gently, earning a slow blink in response. "What happened?"

"Duchess Satine was killed, the planet was overtaken by Maul and Deathwatch." Obi-Wan spoke the fact as though it were something he had rehearsed. Maybe it was.

"It's more than that, Obi-Wan, I can tell." He was trying to gently prod him into speech, but knew that it would not be easy for a man who was so used to repressing his emotions. Silence settled between them for a moment, the relaxing pulses of the fountains behind them the only noise.

"Yes." And for a long while, he did not speak again. Anakin had learned from watching Obi-Wan, in his diplomatic assignments, that there was a time to listen, in silence, and wait for words to find themselves. "I was captures by Maul. That was his intent all along, to find, torture, and eventually kill me. He almost succeeded."

"What do you mean?"

"I was taken hostage after breaking Satine out of prison." Anakin noted that he had dropped the title from her name, and the normal, level sound of his voice was gone. It was still strong, but wavering far more than usual. "We were both brought in front of Maul and his brother again. I assumed he would kill me."

Anakin was surprised; he knew Maul's hatred for Obi-Wan, it was evident in the video recording he had sent to the temple. He had not understood, however, that that would extend that far. To murder a Jedi would mean the destruction of the system he had just seized, would have brought the fury of the Republic on himself and destroyed all he had worked for on Mandalore. Anakin thought what it must be like to feel that powerful of a hatred before he realized, stricken that he had, memories of Tuskan Raider women and children being cut down at the end of his lightsaber flitted through his mind, but he banished them, focusing again on Obi-Wan.

"He did not, clearly. Instead, he found it to be more effective to murder…" He trailed off and sucked in a breath. "He wanted to hurt me personally, so rather than kill me, he stabbed Satine and let her die in my arms before he sent me back to the prison."

Anakin ripped the bundle of grass he had been holding from the ground, the blades curling around his fingers as he tried to release the surge of anger within him. The Duchess had been innocent, a pacifist woman caught in an old rivalry; she was dead due to unearned cruelty, designed to torture his master.

"Her sister, Bo-Katan, intervened, and I was able to return to the temple instead." Obi-Wan finished his story with no flourish, and at the end did not sound relived, only tired.

"It's not your fault, Obi-Wan." Anakin had never had Obi-Wan or Padme's skill in comforting people. He was good with his hands, not necessarily his words, but this had felt the right thing to say.

"But it is." And Anakin looked up, for the first time, into what had been an expression of pure emotion from his master. "If I had not broken the code, not allowed myself to be…not allowed for Satine and I to…" But the words wouldn't come, and for the first time since Anakin had known him, Obi-Wan could think of nothing to say.

"You're a living being, Obi-Wan. You have feelings."

"As Jedi, we must control them. My inability to do so had an innocent woman killed." Obi-Wan did think he was a failure, but Anakin knew otherwise.

"No, Obi-Wan." And his master looked up at him them, the sadness and feelings he had been repressing now pulling at the corners of his eyes, making him look almost older. "Maul's cruelty killed Satine, not you. You went to rescue her, you went knowing what she meant to you, knowing you couldn't be together, and knowing that in the end, even if you saved her, you would still return to the Jedi Order. Don't blame yourself for something you had no control over."

There were no more words to be said between them. Anakin was unsure if Obi-Wan accepted his sentiments or not. It was unclear, the older Jedi shut his eyes, slightly leaned over, and Anakin felt the force surge around them. He was releasing his emotions, trying to eliminate the pain and loss he was feeling, and Anakin did the only thing he knew to. He reached out himself, trying to give some form of comfort to his grieving master, feeling the strong, calming waves of the light side of the force wash away his own anger at the injustice.

And they stayed together, sitting quietly on the patch of grass until evening came and other Jedi began to mill in, breaking the spell. He considered asking Obi-Wan to eat, but the man had nipped it in the bud, placing his hand gently on Anakin's shoulder before leaving to return to his room.

Anakin had learned something else in all their years together, to what others might seem a simple, possibly even accidental gesture, was a sign of thanks. His master would recover. His master would heal. If only because he had to.


End file.
